A Clarification.

Hey, it's been a while since I write on my blog. It's been a while since I maintain my blog alone. It's been a while since I used to passionate about being famous by blogging. I know, I might be too obsessed. However, I guess I'm grown-up now.

I'd like to be called as "blogger" but not as "beauty blogger". I don't know the exact reasons but, I think that's what I like to be called despite "beauty blogger" is really a thing now.

Genuinely, I'm not a person who likes to follow the trend, but I realized that everybody knew me that way, that "I like to follow the trend", "I like to be trendy", "I like to be called I'm 'a kid of these days'", "I like to be famous" Probably, people are calling me that. But the truth is.......I'm an old-school, a really really old-school. (Most times) I don't like trends. I'm a kinda hipster. I have my own taste and likely not to follow what most people do. Ah, you know what I mean. I have my own taste in music and you know what? I'm sick of those mainstream songs. Oh really, I never listen to any song which is played everywhere. Not really ever, but only a few of "that song" which I really listen to.

Well, this is not gonna be a good writing, I know. At least, this post will represent what I truly am and that's why I name it 'A Clarification'. Although in fact, I'm sure only a few would care to read. I'm fine tho. LOL. I really am.

Actually, I wanted this post to be written in Bahasa, but I realized, I'm more comfortable writing it in English though my English skill is not that good. So here it is, a clarification of myself.

Let's start with why I started blogging. I created this blog because my teacher at Junior High needed to teach his students on 'what is Blogspot'. So, we created it. But after the subjects had finished, most students stopped just because they don't find a passion for writing or they have things more interesting than blogging. And me, I don't know why I continued to open this platform and started to write.

At the beginning of it, I was so awful at writing. It also happened that I only write one or two sentences in a post. It was just that stupid thing, some random-and-really-not-important-thing to post, but I like it when it's published and how satisfied I was at that time.

Then on my Senior High, I didn't realize that I like fashion really much until Diana Rikasari showed up on TV with her blog. I began to be a fan of her and follow her movement and dreamt to be like her someday.

Short story, on Senior High I tried to be a fashion blogger -but failed cause there was no enough equipment (re: camera+photographer). On college, my blog is kinda improved from writing until the pictures and I also start reviewing about skincare. It was better than before. And on my senior year at college, my blog had a first-ever partnership with an e-commerce. I was so happy cause people began to notice my blog.

However, at that time I didn't realize that it was the time that people are starting to blog about beauty. Like, a lot of people. It's like a mushroom. I didn't know why so a lot. I'm happy cause I will have a lot of new friends. Most of them have a lot of partnership with brands which I don't. LOL. And I analyzed, some of them only blog because they have the partnership with that company/brand, not because they're passionate about it.

I don't know. Perhaps after this, they will think that I'm not supportive or whatever but that's not what I mean. I mean, it's whatever they want their blog is created for. And I think, they might be not a real blogger (which one is real anyway?). They just blog.

What I really mean is I don't wanna blog like them. I don't wanna blog about fashion because it's the trend. I don't wanna blog about beauty just because it's a thing right now. It's because trend will easily fade away, but our creativity don't. And the trends sometimes kill my creativity and my-own-self, my identity.

I've ever felt I want to be famous by blogging. I've ever wanted my blog becomes so popular and so am I. I used to be in a stage where I want that and I didn't realize that it's not myself. The same thing goes to Instagram. I used to feel I need to post and share things which actually nobody cares. I used to be in a situation where I really need to do this and that for the sake of popularity. Oh, I wish I never feel it.

Now, I think I'm grown-up. I limit what I share on Social Media. I start controlling myself not to share things, though it's really hard at the beginning. However, now I'm kinda getting used to it.

Now, I don't want to wish a-lot-of-partnerships-come-to-me-so-that-I-can-be-famous anymore. I am now blogging just because it's my passion, just like what I feel in the past. I'm gonna share things that might be useful for readers so that my life can at least be useful for people. At least what I've done is not useless.

I'm gonna blog about fashion because I like it. I'm gonna blog about skincare and beauty because I'm really into it. I'm gonna blog about DIY because I will die if I don't do anymore. All I do will not be for the sake of the trend anymore. As well as don't want to feel like reaching a certain pageview number.

And for the skincare, I think I need to clarify here. I only buy things that I need to buy, not because people are using this so I have to use this and then review it. I buy new skincare not because I want to, but because I need to. I only need to buy new skincare if the product is running out. Which is why I still try few skincare brands cause I indeed limit it. I don't wanna be too much.

Also, I don't care about what people say about me want to be famous anymore. They're just people, not God. That's what most people do. They judge because they just know a little. They just don't really know the truth and the effort a person has made for one single thing.

And, a little clarification, I don't want to be like Diana anymore though I'm still a huge fan of her. I just want to be me :)

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